Your Embrace
by KaydenceRei
Summary: She never got to tell him.. She never got to tell Elliot how she felt as she stared into the barrel of the gun. Was it too late now? Without him, she was never complete, and without him here to help her, she didn't think she would make it out alive.


**Disclaimer**: So uh.. they aren't mine. It's okay, I won't sulk -sniffle- I promise.

**A/N**: This is one of my favorite songs, so I decided that I would make a song fic out of it and see where I wind up with it. Hope that you all like it.

**Artist**: Shakira

**Song**: Your Embrace

* * *

For a while, Olivia Benson was positive that friendship was something that you could never really get passed with a person in your life. It was a choice between being friends, or being more. She always chose friends. She'd never entirely found a point in having something more, not when the love that she had for someone could never be returned.

A sigh escaped from her parted lips as she sat cross-legged in the grass at Central Park. She'd been by herself in the small open area for a short while now, it was a place that she'd been going to since she was a child because no one else had ever seemed to be there. Her coffee colored eyes stared up at the slowly fading colors of the sky as the day began to change to nightfall.

Nightfall.. the most meticulous time of the day. The time when the most heinous acts that no one wanted to imagine, really did happen beyond people's nightmare's and beyond the horror movies that are played on TV. It's the time of the day when one man, one woman, one child's life is changed, and not for the better, but always for the worse.

There never really was a reason for Olivia to keep going in life. Not that she could think of at that would eventually be something other than a dream at least. Her family? No... her family was hardly a reason to keep her going, it more or less made her want to give everything up and walk away. It was her dream that kept her going, day in and day out. Her dreams of that one person that made everything okay at the end of the day.

Elliot Stabler.. her partner in crime.. the man she would always love, but feared she could never tell. She was positive that he felt nothing towards her besides a friendship, so she did exactly as she always did. She took up her own policies on relationships, and stuck the man she had fallen in love with behind the 'Friendship' tab. She was sure that he never truly saw her, never truly understood her, never truly thought about loving her. Now she wondered if everything was still worth it..

_Tell me, what's the use  
Of the twenty-four inch waist  
If you don't touch me?  
Tell me, what's the use again  
Of being on TV every day  
If you don't watch me?_

The sky kept on with it's changes, and the light blue sky was turning to light pink shades as the sun was setting. She stared up, watching as the moon slowly began to appear. One of those mysterious beauties in the world that she always loved to look at. Never constant, always changing shapes and forms. She loved the crescent moon and she loved the full moon.

In some ways she thought of herself like the moon.. she was always changing, whether people liked the change in her, or whether they hated it. She changed because staying the same could never be an option, she changed her appearance, but never her personality. Just because the part of the moon you see looks different, doesn't mean that it isn't still the same in other ways. It still had no gravity, it was always the same shape, just shaded so you couldn't see it all.

That was Olivia. Shaded, rarely fully seen by any one who looked at, touched or even knew her. She smiled faintly before closing her eyes, going home wasn't much of an option. There was nobody waiting for her when she got home.. there was nobody there to tell her she made a difference, she was their constant, that she was the mysterious beauty that was the moon.

She wasn't sure she could stand the loneliness anymore. She wasn't sure about a lot of things lately though, she knew she only had one friend, one real friend, one best friend that wouldn't give up on her. She wondered if Elliot knew how important he really was to her daily routine, but she guessed that he didn't. Too many things came in and out of her life that she was actually afraid to have even one small constant.

Her teeth bit down lightly on her lower lip. She was afraid of something... she had always thought she was fearless until this moment. She she knew she never was, she had always feared one thing before she feared being alone.. and that was to be afraid of something. She smirked at herself and shook her head as she realized that was probably the most ridiculous fear that somebody could have.

_This house is full of emptiness  
My closet's full of dresses  
That I'll never wear  
My life is full of people  
But you're my only friend  
My best friend_

Sometimes the thoughts of telling Elliot how she felt had crossed her mind, but she had always dismissed them almost as quick as they had come. But now as the thoughts came flying through her head, she couldn't seem to make them dissipate into the nothingness she always made it out to be.

A groan escaped her lips as she laid down, opening her coffee colored eyes to stare back up at the changing sky once more. It was soothing to watch the stars begin to appear as night began, she didn't know why, she didn't really even want to know why. She closed her eyes as a drop of wetness from the sky splashed on her face.. and then a few more after that. "Wonderful.." she muttered out to herself.

Footsteps caused her to sit up. She came to this spot everyday, no one else was ever here.. As she began to stand to her feet she realized the sounds of a girl, yelling, screaming for help. This was what the night brought.. this was the nightmare that many unfortunate people are brought into. She was on her feet in an instant and running towards the cries for help. Something felt off about this though.. it didn't feel right, she had no gun, she had nothing to stop what was happening, but that wasn't going to stop her.

The cries for help subsided and stopped, and she quickly stopped, not knowing where to follow them to any longer. Now the rain was down pouring, and that pelts of rain on the ground was about the only thing she could hear at this point. This was wrong.. all of this was wrong, something bad was going to happen, she could tell right at this exact moment.

The olive toned face of hers moved side to side, trying to figure out which way she should move next. But just as she moved to take another step, an arm wrapped around her waist and a hand covered her mouth. She kicked her feet, trying to pull away from the person who had grabbed her from behind, she had even elbowed him, but in her efforts to break free, another person stepped in front of her, a gun held right between her coffee colored eyes.

She never got to tell him.. She never got to tell Elliot how she felt as she stared into the barrel of the gun. Was it too late now? Without him, she was never complete, and without him here to help her, she didn't think she would make it out alive.

_Hope it isn't too late  
To say "I love you"  
Hope it isn't too late to say  
That without you this place looks like London  
It rains every day  
Don't you know it, babe  
I'm only half a body  
Without your embrace_

Olivia's coffee colored eyes met those of a deranged lime green. She knew the look that she saw in this man's eyes, it was the same that a perp stared at a victim with. It was one of pure lust, pure greed, pure insanity. She tried not to look fearful, she tried to hide her faltering strength, but she knew it wasn't working, she could tell just by how excited the man before her was.

So many fears had never actually crossed her mind in such a short period of time before. And now another one flew through her mind as she began to comprehend her situation. This was how her mother must have felt all those years ago.. the fear, the shame, the guilt. She was letting this happen to herself, she was becoming her mother full-force, and she wondered if she would start drinking too. She was afraid to close her eyes.. but she was afraid to keep them open, she was afraid of anything and everything at that moment.

Maybe if she had shared her secret place in the park with someone else, then maybe this wouldn't be happening to her. She felt the first tug at her pants from the man with the gun, and she felt the one hand of the man that was holding her roaming underneath of her shirt. All she could do was let out muffled yells for help behind the man's hand, but finally she came up with a knew approach.

Rape wasn't an option, Olivia Benson couldn't let that happen to herself. She bit down on the man's hand which caused him to let go of her and scream out, then her foot connected with the abdomen of the man with the gun who bent over, his arms covering his midsection. This was her chance, and she wasn't going to ruin that, not now.

She ran, probably faster then she ever had before.. through the trees, the bushes, passed anything that might slow the other two down. She could hear their footsteps following her as she broke out into the same clearing that she had been in before she had heard the cries for help and chased after them. She saw someone, someone with a light on the other side of the clearing, but she tripped.. she tripped over a rooting tree that was growing from the ground and she landed face first on the ground with a dull thud.

That was when she felt someone pull her feet and drag her. She wound up underneath the body of one of the men, the one who had the gun as it was pointed at her head once more. She closed her coffee colored eyes shut tight, too frightened to watch as the man pulled the trigger. But as a gunshot sounded.. she found those same coffee colored eyes reopening, and her head was left unharmed aside from a few scrapes.

It didn't take too much to figure out who shot the man on top of her as he became dead weight over her body. She attempted to push him off, but one of her arms was stuck under his body, and she couldn't manage the task one-handed. The other man must've run away, because he was nowhere in sight as she slowing shimmied her way out from underneath of the dead body.

She was almost defensive enough to push away the person who began to help her pull herself from underneath of the man's deceased body. There was one person she had brought to this place not that long ago.. and she knew that was who saved her right here tonight. She looked up and found ice blue eyes staring back into her own coffee colored ones. She gave Elliot Stabler a faint smile.. trying not to look as disturbed as she truly felt at that moment.

He knew where to find her because he knew her. There was never a single person who knew so much and yet so little about her at one time. Her heart never held a spot for anyone else except for this man... she wanted so badly to tell him right there.

_Let me tell you why  
My heart is an unfurnished room  
Any suggestions?  
Don't have to tell you more than that  
'Cause no one knows me like you do  
Without exception_

Coffee colored eyes closed as Olivia felt Elliot's arms wrap gently around her in a friendly embrace. The comfort that the embrace was giving her was something she was sure she had ever really felt before. She wasn't sure, but her heart may have actually started racing faster by being in the arms of the man she loved, then staring into the barrel of a gun and facing her own demise.

"Are you okay Olivia..?" Came the concerned voice of her partner. For a few moments she was silent.. contemplating on whether or not she should tell him that she'd never been afraid of so many things in one day before. She'd never been afraid before. Not in seven years of working with this man, at least, she tried to pretend she had never been afraid, but she knew that wasn't true.

Her fingertips gripped the shoulders of Elliot's shirt. The urge to cry was almost overwhelming, but she couldn't cry, not in front of someone she tried so hard to be strong for. The grip on her partner's shirt grew more and more tight and her knuckles actually began to turn white, her breathing getting slightly ragged and huffy.

Elliot's concerned eyes were actually growing scared for Olivia. He'd never seen her this way in the seven years that they worked together. He tightened his embrace with her, running his fingertips from on hand soothingly through Olivia's hair, and the fingertips of his other hand made small circles on the small of her back to show her that it was okay to be afraid. "Olivia.. it's okay.." his works came out soft, in a voice she wasn't sure she'd ever heard him use on anyone before. "Let it out.. it's okay.." Elliot said next, his caring and... loving tone never faltering.

As her vision was so blurred from the building tears, Olivia could hardly see a thing. Finally she gave in to the fear, gave into the all of the emotions she'd always tied down and the tears flowed freely as she buried her head into Elliot's shoulder, her grip remaining as tight as it had been before the waterfall of tears. They were hardly noticeable with the pouring of the rain.. but the shaking of her body as it racked with sobs gave her away.

This was something that she'd never gotten before, a hug, an embrace, an okay to let out her feelings and let her emotions run a muck. With so many people in her life before now, it was amazing that she could never feel this kind if security, this kind of love, this kind of freedom before this moment, before meeting Elliot Stabler and the rest of the SVU.

Everything had been so empty before now. Everything was quiet, there was never anything to care about before she met these people because she didn't see a reason to care about someone who didn't care back. But the victims.. someone needed to care about them. And that changed her view, even though she'd still felt empty when she went home at night, she felt so full at work. It made her wonder if anyone had ever seen her in anything besides her work attire before, she hoped so.

_This house is full of emptiness  
My closet's full of dresses  
That I'll never wear  
My life is full of people  
But you're my only friend  
My best friend_

A ragged breath escaped Olivia's parched lips as the tears subside only a few minutes later. Sirens were heard, but she didn't exactly care.. not right now. Her grip on Elliot's shirt began to loosen as well, and once she realized how much ease she was getting from feeling his body warmth with his, from being close enough to feel the warmth his body emitted she quickly pulled out of his arms, unable to hide the pink tint that ran across her cheeks. "I'm... I'm sorry.." she mumbled out as she moved further away from her partner, unsure of what it was she was apologizing for.

The weird look the came across Elliot's face wasn't entirely a surprise to her. She was surprised at herself right now for acting with such odd behavior. "What are you sorry for?" came the question. Confusion was the most apparent tone in her partner's voice, and she wasn't sure how exactly she was supposed to answer him when she herself didn't really know the answer. "Liv..?" he questioned quietly, hoping she would just open up and not shut him out.

Her body shifted uncomfortably in the pouring rain as she wrapped her arms around her own body as a sort of reassurance. Not that she knew why she was doing anything at this moment, she didn't know what she was reassuring herself of either. But she was reassuring herself nonetheless. "I.. and you.. and.." she mumbled out, She couldn't get the words out coherently, the menacing green eyes of the deceased perp piercing her mind with every single thought that she had now. She took a deep breath, but when Elliot tried to come closer to her she stepped backwards automatically.

Elliot stopped in his tracks as Olivia backed away from him. He knew instinctively not to try and move closer until she let him do so, so he decided to try talking again. "Olivia.." he said softly. "It's okay.. you don't always have to close yourself off, you know that I would never judge you.." his voice came out tenderly, lovingly. She could tell that he was telling the truth, but that didn't make her feel any better about having been so vulnerable.

She wondered if now was the right time. If he didn't feel the same way, she could probably blame whatever she says as her fear speaking. As the incoherence taking over her mind and being overwhelmed so much that she spouted off 'untrue' feelings for her partner. Her lips parted.. the words seeming to want to come out. But what if maybe he didn't feel the same way.. she'd be broken inside, tough on the outside, pretending it didn't bother her. She wasn't sure she could manage to hold all of that inside.

"I.." she started again. She took a deep breath, but when she saw him moving closer, she didn't move away this time. Instead, she moved towards him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as though she were afraid to lose him, afraid to let go because this will be an illusion, she'll have been shot, not saved, and she'll never be in these arms.. these loving and gentle arms again as they wrap around her in a gentle returned embrace.

_Hope it isn't too late  
To say "I love you"  
I hope it isn't too late to say  
That without you this place looks like London  
It rains every day  
Don't you know it, babe  
I'm only half a body  
Without your embrace_

The looks of officers who showed up at the scene were ignored. Olivia knew that they recognized both herself and Elliot, but right now, she didn't care about anything else except for him. Even if it was too late, she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold in her feelings by _not_ telling him how much she loved him. She knew she would break anyways if she didn't tell him, because she had to know how he felt in return, that was just who she was, always needing to know the truth.

"I luh---" her voice faltered again. She never could get the words to come out of her mouth before, it was always so hard for her to do. "I.. I don't know what I would do without you Elliot.." she told him truthfully.. She bit her bottom lip, nervously deciding to tempt those three words one more time, she couldn't give up on it, she absolutely had to tell him. Had to know how he felt in return. "I... love you.." she whispered, her voice cracking under her own pressure.

Elliot's ice blue eyes widened slightly in surprise at Olivia's words. She could actually feel how shocked that her partner seemed to be by her confession, his arms had loosened considerably around her waist after what she told him. The embarrassment rose to her cheeks once more as she pulled her arms back, fearfully retracting herself from her partner's grip. "I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't have said that.." she mumbled out. The officers were leaving them be, and she started walking away towards the path so she could leave and return to the emptiness.. of her heart and her home.

Unsure of what exactly was running through her partner's mind, she quickly began to move faster. The insecurity she suddenly felt by being in this spot was so extreme she was startled and quickly pulled away when a hand grabbed her arm. "Olivia.. Liv relax.. it's me.." came Elliot's soothing voice as he pulled his shaken partner to him and embraced her in yet another loving hug.

"I'm so sorry..." Olivia mumbled out. She didn't return Elliot's embrace this time, but she didn't pull out of it either. She closed those coffee colored eyes once more, afraid to stare the man she told she loved in the eyes because she feared he would turn her away, give up on her, tell her she was worthless, she didn't deserved to love him or be loved by him. She visibly shook in her partner's arms, she was broken-hearted and scared, there couldn't have been a worse combination for a woman.

_Hope it isn't too late  
To say "I love you"  
Hope it isn't too late to say  
That without you this place looks like London  
It rains every day  
Don't you know it, babe  
I'm only half a body  
Without your embrace_

Elliot couldn't find the words to voice his opinion just yet on Olivia's confession. But he could tell by how shaky she was that she needed to know what he thought soon. He may not have been able to find the words just yet, but he knew exactly how it was that he could show her. He moved one hand to her chin, lifting her head so that she was face to face with him. When he saw the coffee colored eyes open, he leaned in, his lips meeting hers.

When Elliot's lips met hers, her coffee colored eyes widened distinctively in utter shock. She could hardly find enough reaction to return the kiss that her partner had used on her, and when his lips pulled away from hers, her eyes were still as wide as they were after the first moment they began the kiss. Her lips parted so she could speak, but she found herself completely speechless by the actions of the man she loved. She tried again to get a few words out, to force herself to speak, but she couldn't seem to manage it.

A smile pursed her lips though when she noticed the lopsided grin that Elliot was wearing on his lips at the moment after the kiss. Her eyes finally dimmed down to their normal size, the surprise in them having faded at last. She wrapped her arms around her partner's neck once more, now returning the earlier kiss with full force as their lips met for the second time.

When the kiss ended a few seconds later, two sets of lopsided grins were staring at each other. Olivia looked down at the ground, slightly embarrassed again, but looked up when she felt Elliot's hand pull her face to look back at his once more. "You know..." he started. "I love you too.."

* * *

**Uh... so there you guys go. I had writer's block for my other story.. so I made a one-shot to make up for it and I hope that you all enjoyed it. It's about double the size my one-shots normally are, so... I hope it was enjoyable! Forgive any errors.. it's passed by bedtime lol. -Kay**

**PS. Look for an update on 'ExCon or StillCon' by Thursday.. Hopefully Chapter 4 will be up by then.**


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